Fill in your boat once. Then read it out, every time. Two minutes at the dock is what separates a boat that feels looked after from one that feels like a gamble.
Welcome aboard the boat. Quick safety briefing, takes two minutes, then we go. While we are moving, one hand for you and one for the boat. If you need to move around, tell me first.
Lifejackets are where they are kept. There is one for everybody. If I ask you to put one on, put it on straight away and ask questions after. The children's jackets are where the kids jackets are, and they wear them the whole time we are out.
Shout man overboard as loud as you can. Then point at them and keep pointing. Do not look away, do not put your arm down, do not try to help. Your only job is to keep pointing until I say stop. The throwable is where the throwable is.
Your second in command takes over. Stop the boat. The engine stop is where the engine stop is. Then the radio, which is where the radio is. Turn it to Channel 16, hold the microphone button, and say Mayday three times, then the name of the boat and where we are.
Fire extinguishers are where the extinguishers are. Tell me first, do not fight it on your own. If I say get out, you get out.
The head is where the head is. Nothing goes down it that you have not eaten first. No wipes, no paper towel, no sanitary products. Blocking it ends the day for everybody. Ask me and I will show you how it works.
Sit where guests should sit. Stay clear of the lines and the winches when we are handling them, and keep your hands off the rails when we are coming alongside. Fingers get caught between the boat and the dock. Watch the boom. When I say gybing or tacking, get your head down.
If you start feeling seasick, tell me early. Early is easy to fix. Late is not. Stay outside, look at the horizon, and do not go below to lie down.
Any questions? Nothing here is a silly question. Right, let us go.
Most owners skip this because it feels formal, or because they assume everybody knows. They do not. Your guests have no idea where anything is, and the one time it matters they will not have time to learn.
There is a second reason, and it is the bigger one. A guest who has been briefed relaxes. They stop quietly worrying about what happens if something goes wrong, because they have been told. Two minutes at the dock buys you a whole day of people actually enjoying themselves.
It also changes how they see you. Not as somebody hoping it goes well, but as somebody who has thought about it already.